


Cover Up

by YoroiNoKyojin



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 22:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoroiNoKyojin/pseuds/YoroiNoKyojin
Summary: He’d had enough of the manipulation. Enough of the lies. It was time to take control of his own destiny.Kylo-centric, one-shot. Angst, trauma, violence.Based on the song “Cover Up” by Trapt, which I consider a sort of theme for Ben.





	Cover Up

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I wrote this story sometime in 2017 before i saw The Last Jedi. It kinda scares me how accurate it is in a way, not having known how the movie would turn out at the time. But anyways, I wanted to make it known that this is a sort of AU — a take on the movie before I actually saw it!

**Cover** _ ** Up.** _

* * *

The ship was in his sights. He had the voices of General Hux and many of his units all buzzing in to report their status, their voices reverberating through the inside of his TIE silencer. This ship was custom-built for him, made for his hands, a deadly machine that was currently soaring through space towards a giant Resistance ship. His mission was to take it down and he'd been dead-set on doing so-- until he sensed a presence in the force... 

... her.

His.... mother.

She was on that ship. And if he destroyed it, she would disappear along with it.

Still, it was his mission. He was the one who would fire the missiles that would cause the ship to implode. And the closer he got, the more he simply _knew_ in his heart that he wouldn't be able to pull the trigger. He couldn't. Still, the Silencer glided effortlessly between enemy X-wings, spinning and easily missing any shot aimed at it. Its pilot was strong with the Force and additionally, was a Skywalker/Solo: flying was in his blood. 

Closer, closer he got. The time came for him to make his move-- the move that would end this space battle -- and he didn't squeeze the trigger. He still didn't, even after he heard Hux's monotone grow increasingly angry and confused. "Ren! What the hell are you doing?! Fire!!" The General said.

Ren's lips cursed, his dark eyes nearly bulged with restrained anger and frustration, and he felt that tight boiling rage in his chest again -- no, no, NO -- 

\-- and suddenly, just before the TIE Silencer crashed into the hull of the Resistance cruiser, it veered off to the right, and left the battle, flying into the black abyss of space.

\-------

Days later, Kylo Ren returned to the Finalizer, only to be told by a seething Hux that the Supremacy, Leader Snoke's personal ship and the Headquarters of the entire Order, was close to arriving and that The Supreme Leader demanded to speak with Ren personally. "I would love to punish your BLATANT disobedience myself," the red-head snarled, "but I expect the Supreme Leader has something much worse in store for you."

Ren didn't flinch upon hearing this. In fact, he'd expected it. Supreme Leader Snoke was harsh and unforgiving and to be fair, The Knight of Ren wasn't entirely sure he'd leave that ship alive. Some large part of him felt almost... relieved at the prospect of dying; at least he wouldn't have to live with this pain any longer.

So in a few hours' time, upon seeing the giant Star Destroyer emerge from hyper-space to join the Finalizer near the planet of Bespin, Ren took a small, individual transport and cross from one ship to the other. As the Supremacy's tractor beam caught him and pulled him in, Kylo Ren sat, staring through the visor of his mask at the dashboard of his small ship, trying to calm his heart. He felt a small flutter of fear and knew that the Supreme Leader would sense it; so he breathed slowly in and out, tightening and releasing his fists and trying to remain calm.

The Supremacy was a monstrous ship; it was 60 kilometers long, 20 times bigger than his own command ship, the Finalizer. Having been on this ship only a few times, he was escorted by several armed troopers to the Supreme Leader's throne room-- a large, dark, quiet room with only a single chair.

On that chair sat the Supreme Leader, dressed in golden robes. His scarred head lifted and piercing eyes focused on the masked Knight -- that gaze alone caused Ren to freeze in place. He could feel Snoke's gaze penetrating him, seeing right through him, and it was entirely unnerving. He struggled to keep his cool under the immense pressure.

There was a long silence before the Supreme Leader finally spoke. "I have punished your failures," he said enigmatically. Snoke's old face hardened minutely. "I've tried to teach you valuable lessons."

Ren remained silent.

Snoke leaned forward in his chair, the dim lighting in the room only serving to make him look more imposing. Did he do this on purpose? To intimidate people? "When I found you..." he began quietly, before he voice raised into a near roar. "... I saw RAW, UNTAMED POWER!"

Now, Kylo Ren _did_ flinch. It was rare that the Supreme Leader raised his voice. Usually a simple stare had the desired effect. Thankfully, he wore his mask, which carefully concealed his expression -- but he knew Snoke could sense his feelings through the Force, so it did little good. 

Snoke continued: "I have rightfully punished your mistakes... but how to punish outright disobedience? That is another matter entirely. Perhaps..." his voice lowered into almost a whisper. "Perhaps you need to revisit the foundation of your training."

Ren stiffened; his whole body was rigid with fear. No... _No_. Not that again; he couldn't, wouldn't go through that again. Never. Never again.

After a nod from the Supreme Leader, four Deathtroopers entered the room, their black masks gleaming cruelly, and went to seize Ren. 

What they hadn't seemed to expect, however, was a violent struggle. A Force-burst shot out from the Knight's body, knocking all four of them back -- before they could start shooting, Ren unbelted his lightsaber and with a press of a button and a furious flick of his wrist, all of them were dead, their armor sizzling and slashed through.Ren was left panting, breathless, his dark eyes wild with a fight-or-flight response. More troopers came and he let out a yell of rage, lifting his glowing red blade to deal with them -- but then he stopped.

He was frozen, paralyzed, and it wasn't his own doing; no, he was held in place by an outside force. His wild eyes shifted, looking through the visor of his mask up at Snoke, who had a single hand raised effortlessly. The old man wasn't even breaking a sweat as he held Ren in place using the Force. 

The lightsaber clattered to the floor and suddenly Kylo Ren could feel himself literally ripping apart. Explosive pain ripped through him, starting at his insides and reverberating out to his limbs. Even the tips of his toes and fingers burned and every inch of his body literally vibrated, the Force crushing him, squeezing him and burning him until all he felt was pure anguish. There was nothing, nothing in the Galaxy that felt like this. No pain could match it.

And suddenly, he was released and he collapsed to the floor in a quivering pile. Ren vaguely felt several troopers coming to haul his body off the floor and while he was several inches taller than either of them, they carried his full weight out of the room. He couldn't move; he could barely breathe. When he tried to clear his throat and felt it burn painfully, he fully realized that he'd been screaming bloody murder the entire time Snoke had had him in that hold. The vocoder in his mask was probably ruined from the effort of translating and warbling such a heinous sound.

"That was rough," one of the troopers muttered as they carried him. If this had been any other situation he would have killed the soldier immediately; but as of now he was too weak to do anything but hang his head and be dragged along, his feet scraping across the floor. 

And then everything went black.

\--------

Days came and went. His helmet had been taken from him. Sometimes First Order troopers came to torture him, supervised by an officer. Their pitying or resentful comments wounded him more than the torture itself. Sometimes the pain inflicted on him was physical, sometimes mental. Images were flashed before his eyes, images and sounds and smells; the smell of burning flesh, an image of his mother staring at him with hatred in her eyes; the voice of the scavenger girl, Rey, gloating about her victory over him at Starkiller base. All of these things were designed to break him down and strengthen him in the Dark side... but they only served to make him weak, and within days Kylo Ren was reduced to his base state of living; a hollow, pale shell of a human that did nothing more than stare at the wall -- when he wasn't screaming from the torture.

He had all but lost the will to live. He was no one, anymore; nothing. Not a First Order commander, not a Knight of Ren, not a Force-user, not a soldier, not a Solo. Nothing. He was a void.

And yet the only thing that reminded him he was alive was the pain. Not just the pain of the torture he was subjected to, when the troopers would burn his pale skin or brand his back with a fire poker or slowly shock the most sensitive parts of his body, but the pain of that tiny pinprick of light within his heart. That faint, tentative desire to be _more_. To be.. _good_.

One day, a different voice sounded inside his head, stirring him from a restless waking sleep. There were no troopers, no tools, no torture equipment. This voice was pure inside of his head, like telepathy. "Your failures have cost you, Kylo Ren... you swore yourself to the First Order-- to the Dark side-- to _me. _Submit, fully, completely, or I will end you and replace you with someone who _will_."

The girl. Snoke was referring to the girl... and if the Supreme Leader knew her at all, he would know that her spirit was strong. Way too strong to be broken by him, or anyone else. She would never submit and somehow, the thought of the First Order getting their hands on her upset him. So much so that for the first time since he arrived on the Supremacy, he felt the need to do something. To take action.

He closed his bloodshot eyes and tried shakily to grab onto the Force. To reach out.. for her.

Something he had realized since their encounter on Starkiller base was that he had a connection with her. Rey, the Scavenger. He could feel her presence in the Force, strong and powerful and steady; like a beating heart at its prime. It soothed him, brought feeling back into his arms and legs, and he relaxed against the wall; and he knew then and there that this was a turning point.

He wasn't sure who he was or what he wanted. All Kylo Ren knew was one single thing: 

Snoke had to die.

He couldn't exactly explain why, and maybe these were just crazy ramblings of a shattered soul who'd been beaten to death; but that was the one singular coherent thought. And that thought was what he focused on as he continued to endure the monstrous images and tactics his own organization used against him.

\----

Kylo Ren, battered and weak and half naked, stood in the exact same spot he'd stood in a few weeks prior; yards away from the Supreme Leader, who sat in a large stiff chair with those same piercing eyes. "You remember your test," he said quietly, deceptively calm.

Lifeless dark eyes stared up at Snoke, but hidden deep within his heart, he knew what his end goal was. He remained silent, his lips set in a thin line. He'd remained impassive until now; slowly, he could feel that pressure building within his abused body.

Troopers filled the room, troopers of all kinds; standard, pilots, commanders, Flame Troopers, Death troopers. All of them stood in the large, dim room, their weapons in their grasp. Suddenly Ren's eyes flickered to an object laying at the base of Snoke's chair, right in front of his feet --

\-- his lightsaber.

"Don't disappoint me," was Snoke's only response.

He knew what the Supreme Leader wanted him to do; and as the battered Knight lifted his eyes back to Snoke's scarred, impassive face, he felt a white-hot ball of rage explode and consume him so quickly that his body was electrified. Muscles that endured weeks of abuse and torture were suddenly flexing, jumping, and suddenly a Force blast from around his body sent every trooper closest to him flying back and knocking heavily into their fellow soldiers. Before the troopers were given the go-ahead to attack, Ren reached out a bare hand and summoned the Force within him, grasping for the blade.

It flew effortlessly into his hand and immediately he felt his rage intensify. He had the desire, now he had the weapon.

Let the massacre begin.

It was almost -- _almost_ \-- as if his body had never been hurt. His anger was all-consuming and he felt nothing else, thought nothing else as he flew into the sea of white armored soldiers with unbridled fury. One word repeated over and over, a mantra in his mind as he danced through the laserfire, avoiding electrified clubs and blaster rifles and hand weapons of all sorts, weaving through the troopers:

Kill. Kill. Kill. _Kill them all._

_Kill_.

Lopping the head off of a Flame trooper who'd scorched his shoulder sneakily, Ren watched the helmet roll across the floor before setting onto his next victim. The damage dealt by the saber simply wasn't enough to feed his bloodlust anymore; so he also used his various Force abilities to kill those that weren't within reach. One hand speared a trooper with his glowing blade while the other used the force to crush the windpipe of a pilot. They all wore masks, but he knew they were desperate and afraid. 

He could _feel_ it.

Time passed and he dealt with each soldier in a new and horrific way; towards the end, Ren was so blinded by pure, white-hot rage that his elegance with the saber was all but gone and he was simply hacking away at their disgusting remains whilst screaming at the top of his lungs.

He didn't stop until he was so out of breath that he he'd fallen to his knees and extinguished his lightsaber, his naked torso littered with wounds, burns, scars; both from this battle and from the weeks of torture he'd endured. Lifeless black eyes stared down at the remains of a trooper; blood. Blood everywhere. He couldn't even tell it had once been a person, the body was so abused and disfigured. 

"Come here."

Snoke's voice brought him back to the present and without fully processing it, he approached the throne. Snoke stood and peered down at Ren, his expression unfathomable. 

"I can feel your anger," Snoke said quietly. 

Ren shifted. The hand holding his lightsaber grew restless and he locked his jaw, his body shaking with barely-controlled anger.

_ Do it. _

_ Kill him. _

_ Kill him now. _

_This is your chance_.

Snoke's eyes narrowed and he said, "don't forget your place. Don't do something you might.... regret."

Ren stiffened. He knew. Now was not the time. He wouldn't win this. So he only bowed his head and accepted his fate... for now.

"Go get your wounds taken care of. Be sure not to disobey me again.... or you won't survive."

As Kylo Ren walked away to go to one of the medic stations, his hand tightened on his saber, refusing to let go. He'd failed, again.

Soon, he vowed silently, gritting his teeth.

Soon.


End file.
